


Boom De Ya Da

by lessthanpie



Category: TV Commercials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 19:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lessthanpie/pseuds/lessthanpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is awesome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boom De Ya Da

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scissorphishe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scissorphishe/gifts).



Astronauts always knew that old saying about what goes up must come down was a lie. Every time they went up, there was a very real possibility that they would never come down again.  They all understood that going in, and they went up anyway. It was what made them astronauts.

The problem with the shuttle started out as a small thing. They figured that fixing it would just add a couple of days to their journey, then the old girl would take them home, just like she had so many times before, where she could be rest in peace as an historical monument or something.

Unfortunately, this did not seem to be the case. The fix didn't work, and the astronauts were not going to be able to get home. They didn't have enough supplies or oxygen to survive long enough for a rescue mission to be mounted, and it was much too dangerous for the people on the ground to attempt to land a huge piece of machinery that they were aware was more likely than not to explode upon impact, showering the planet with debris and toxic chemicals.

So the astronauts made their peace with the fact that they'd never go home, and the people of the world made sure that they got to say goodbye to everything they loved.

By the time the broadcasts started, interest in the space program had reached levels not seen since the 1960s. Astronauts were heroes again, and everyone wanted to be chosen to honor them. Videos came from all over the world.

 _I love Egyptian kings._

The archeologist enjoyed the contrast of the very new, like space travel, and the very old, like her beloved mummies. She was sure that men who would risk their lives to advance the human race's knowledge of space would appreciate where scientific curiosity had got some of its start.

She was right. They appreciated it very much.

 _I love the lemur eyes._

The lemurs were small and cute and warm, and a perfect thing to see from the cold vastness of space. When they came on the screen, the astronauts just said, "Awww" and, though they'd never thought much about them before, loved the lemur eyes, too.

 _I love the Big Bang._

Looking at the hadron collider lab was like looking at a little bit of home. Their own space program-specific labs didn't look much different from that one, and they, too, loved the Big Bang. One of the astronauts had written a paper about it when he had been in elementary school; it was the reason he'd become an astronaut in the first place.

 _I love tornados._

The other astronaut had, when he'd been very small, a great fascination with weather. Until the first time he'd gone up in an airplane and knew that what he _really_ wanted to do was fly as high and as fast as anyone ever had, he had wanted to be a meteorologist. Not like the weatherman on his local news, but one of the guys who went out and actually got in the middle of the weather, who didn't heed the evacuation warnings and risked getting blown away by a storm.

He really loved the tornadoes, too.

 _I love arachnids._

Neither of the astronauts were especially fond of spiders, but they both could understand loving something that most other people in the world didn't get. Zero gravity and the thrust if lift off weren't anything like arachnids, except for how they kind of were.

The situation aboard the shuttle had grown dire. In the end, the astronuts had decided that they preferred a quieter end for themselves than exploding with their ship. They set the shuttle on an autopilot path and let themselves out.  All that lie between them and the end was the oxygen in their suits. They didn't talk much, just admired the world passing below in all its huge and small glories.

The shuttle explosion was, of course, in the vacuum of space, silent but brilliant.  They were both momentarily blinded by the the blast, but when their vision cleared they saw the most impossible sight. Where their shuttle had been now floated a ship they'd never seen before. It didn't look like anything made by any government on earth, though in parts it did resemble things seen in some of the wilder science fiction movies.

The astronauts had time for nothing except to instinctively clasp hands before finding themselves in a vast, metallic space. The creatures approaching them seemed to change their appearance every time the astronauts blinked.

"Greetings," said the alien who appeared  to be in charge. Its voice sounded like all the human voices that had ever been, but the astronauts could understand perfectly.  "Your human senses are unable to process our reality as it appears to us, but we put this together based on the transmissions we've caught from your planet over the years. Is it acceptable?"

The alien seemed so eager to please that the astronauts would not have said no even if the illusion had been far less successful than it was. Neither of them managed more than a nod and a strangled "Yeah." before the head alien carried on with his explanation of the incredible luck behind their miraculous rescue.

"As I said, we've been monitoring your planet's transmissions for some time, but it wasn't until very recently that we felt compelled to visit. We very much enjoyed what you've been receiving. Your world does indeed look just awesome. May we come down to see it for ourselves?"

The entire alien crew looked so very hopeful that the astronauts just nodded again, and hoped the rest of humanity would behave themselves.

"Wonderful!"  The head alien seemed to clap its hands, pump its fist in the air, and jump for joy all at once. "I do have one question that none of our translators have been able to answer."

The astronauts prepared themselves for some kind of very complicated question about the state of their world, but were not at all expecting the alien's actual query.

"What is the exact meaning of 'boom de ya da'?"


End file.
